If My Love Is Unholy

By Zara Javed

Let me start, with this: I am, a woman,
And I love, a woman
And you may be right, but I am not wrong
Just because you love a man, and I don’t
You call me, unholy. But how can I be so,
When the same god who created you
Created me too?
And didn’t our god send us with just one hope, and one wish
To spread love, not hate
I don’t think he ever stuck a label onto my fate.
Then how can you say I’m wrong?
Just because you love a man, and I don’t
And my love, is love too
For at least my love doesn’t come bound by a label
And you can shame me, break me, hurt me
But I am tired. I have survived my entire life
Pretending somehow
So I beg you, please spare me now.
And I have been shamed, broken and hurt for enough time
So please punish me if my love is a crime
I have suffered for so long
Your chains of cruelty and intolerance
Binding my body, caging me
Cutting into my bones and my skin
Reminding me everyday that my life is a sin.
But let me say this too.
I am a woman, and I love a woman
And I’m proud of it
Proud of the way I am
Proud of the way god has created me
And even though this world seems a dark place now
I will paint it with the colours of the rainbow somehow
The same that is rainbow painted under my flesh
And which fills the flag I hold in my hand
Trying, falling but never stopping, I stand
I stand here, for the teenage boy, confused and abused because of the way he walks, and the way he is, trying to understand why is different.

I stand here for the broken wife, serving her husband though she doesn’t love him.
Killing herself every day because of the way she feels
I stand here so that every little girl shall know one day
That it will be okay
If it’s not prince charming who arrives by her side
Because superwoman can, anyway
I stand here, for those people who don’t look the other way
Or cover their children’s eyes
Telling them white lies
When they see two men holding hands
I stand here, for the people who are like me
Told to shut up and forget about their abnormality
And here I stand, not waiting to fit any mould or label
But waiting, for you to realize, that we didn’t choose to be this way
But you will I know, understand my pain someday
Until then, if my love is too much for you
Then please don’t look this way.
But at least don’t tell me that I am wrong
Just because you love a man, and I don’t.